This page is a compiled list of entertaining phrases that could be heard throughout the course of a billiards match.

Most if not all were taken from real life experiences.

Submit yours through the contact us form and we will be more than happy to add them.

  1. I should start charging you for lessons.
  2. Put it where ever you want it.
  3. Anyone can win for free.
  4. Some people play as hard as they can. I play as hard as I have to.
  5. I felt bad about crushing your confidence so I let you win that one.
  6. Can’t beat luck.
  7. Don’t feel bad, nothing you could have done, I was just playing really well.
  8. You had a good break, I’ll have to rack it looser next time.
  9. I’ll teach you that shot later.
  10. I meant to do that.
  11. Twenty five years ago I was unbeatable.
  12. The lights are not good in here.
  13. Someone was talking while I was shooting.
  14. Someone walked by while I was shooting.
  15. The table is not level.
  16. This isn’t the cue I like.
  17. The rails are dead.
  18. My arms are stiff from weightlifting.
  19. My recent arm injury is throwing me off.
  20. Chalk is cheap.
  21. The fan blew the ball off track.
  22. You had home field advantage.
  23. The pockets are tight.
  24. That was a loose rack.
  25. Take your purse off when you break next time.
  26. I wasn’t paying attention.
  27. I didn’t see that ball.
  28. You are shooting the wrong balls.
  29. I thought I was high balls.
  30. Is it frozen?
  31. The sun even shines on a dogs a** sometimes.
  32. Lucky shot.
  33. Lucky leave.
  34. I cannot believe that just happened.
  35. I can’t believe you just played defense.
  36. All you can do is play defense because you are too scared to make a ball.
  37. I understand if you are too scared to show up and play me tonight.
  38. My stick is at home.
  39. I didn’t have any powder.
  40. Anyone can win one game.
  41. I was thinking about food.
  42. I missed that because a hot girl just walked by.
  43. Too much presser while people are staring at me.
  44. I am sweating because it was too hot in here.
  45. All those times you beat me the last four months, I wasn’t really trying, but I am going to bring it now, watch out.
  46. Hey everyone, "opponent name" is racking! (implying they just lost)
  47. Good night sweet prince.
  48. Ok, no more gifts, I am really going to focus this game.
  49. Shooter: Are you going to make me shoot that shot? Opponent: If you were good then maybe not.
  50. You would not be able to beat me if I was sober.
  51. I should have used the bridge on that shot.
  52. I let you win those first few games to give you a false sense of confidence and wear you down; now I am going to win the next five.
  53. I brought my cue, are you scared? No, that is just one less excuse when you lose.
  54. At least you have a good personality.
  55. At least you still have your looks.
  56. Slow down, speed up, hide, get in the way, be somebody.
  57. Get in the hole. Get in your home, are you too good for your home!
  58. Remind me, which way does your table roll again?
  59. I didn’t want to make you look bad in front of your girlfriend.
  60. I didn’t want to embarrass you at your house.
  61. Watch this! (hint: means there is a good chance they are going to miss)
  62. I need to go to the eye doctor.
  63. I don’t usually show people this shot, but…
  64. I wouldn’t do this if we were playing for real.
  65. Take your purse off when you break next time.
  66. Oh you are not coming tonight, I guess you didn’t want to get spanked again.
  67. I’ll bring some tissues for you and ear plugs for me so I don’t have to hear you crying when you lose.
  68. It is encouraging that the last beating has not affected your confidence.
  69. I get lucky a lot.
  70. I scratched on the 8 ball and you are going to count that one?
  71. 8 on the break only counts as a win when I do it.
  72. You are going to jail now.
  73. Is that how you treat your friends, with dirty defense like that. I see how it is.
  74. If I was too scared to make a ball I would play as much defense as you do too.
  75. We cannot count the warm up games before the match because I was practicing my banks.
  76. Did your bra strap fall off your shoulder and make you hit that weak shot? (to a man).
  77. For someone who has beaten me less than ten times in your life you are sure talking a lot of trash.
  78. It doesn’t matter that you beat me hundreds of games in the past, tonight I won.
  79. About time you won a game.
  80. I was being a gracious host, gave you that one.
  81. Why so hard?
  82. Can’t beat too good.
  83. No one deserved to win that one but someone had to.
  84. Young man, you were just beat by a grandpa, think about that.
  85. Around the world in 40 days.
  86. I see you are making good use of the poke and pray strategy, want to play for money?
  87. Hey you, let’s play, go rack, and get used to it.
  88. I was holding it in, that is why I lost.
  89. I was distracted because I was too worried about dripping sweat on the table and I forgot my head band.
  90. That break was a disgrace to my rack.
  91. What do I have to do to get the next game around here, put 4 quarters up, sacrifice a limb, what?
  92. Hey, rack b*tch, hurry it up.
  93. You like that shot, you are not the only sniper in here! Cash out!
  94. Spectator: How come you did not play that bad against me? Shooter: I knew I would have fewer chances against you. Opponent: “Hey, what are you saying?!”
  95. Why you got to be such a banger? Bang Bang Bang all the time. (one scotch doubles partner to another)
  96. Thin in to win.
  97. Your slow play messed me up, said the opponent of the player who broke and ran.
  98. Go play him, he needs to play someone he can beat anyway.
  99. Are you racking because you lost?
  100. And what does the barber say, NEXT!
  101. You missed that, it is not even my birthday.
  102. Fine, don’t play, it will just take you that much longer to get close to my level.
  103. Snapping necks and cashing checks, I’ll take anyone in here.
  104. Yes, you won, mark it in the calendar, it will never happen again.
  105. That was supposed to roll off, the table is not crooked enough.
  106. I know, it was just practice, I won’t tell anyone how I just destroyed you.
  107. There was a fly on my leg while I was shooting.
  108. Oh, here come the excuses.
  109. Anyone can knock in a bunch of ducks, do something that impresses me.
  110. I can’t believe you played defense with ball in hand and 5 balls on the table.
  111. You better coach him on this shot, he is not going to get another.
  112. Sit down, I’ll tell you when to get up and rack again.
  113. Best defense is a good accident.
  114. Who said you can make that shot.
  115. I hope you are ok, the last guy I beat this bad got post dramatic stress disorder. (No insensitivity intended for people who suffer from PTSD and those close to them, Simple Pool League has the utmost respect for men and women of service.)
  116. That was a man size beating.
  117. Hold on, let me get my headband, this is about to get serious.
  118. I have big balls. That's what she said.
  119. King Kong ain't got s**t on me!
  120. You have little balls.
  121. Does this table roll off to the right?
  122. If you take all the change out of your left pocket and put it in your right pocket it should straighten out your shot.
  123. That ball is really on the edge, don't sneeze.
  124. That ball looked like it was using GPS.
  125. Nice shot, still a long way to go.
  126. Are you playing tonight?  No, count your blessings.
  127. I'll be seeing you again real soon.
  128. If you would have made that I would have hit you.
  129. You loosed that rack.
  130. The side pocket in me wants to make that.
  131. Were you shooting at the invisible ball on that one?
  132. It is your pool, I am just peeing in it.
  133. That was a tennis shot and you ain't at the club.
  134. Show me something new.
  135. I wish I had a video of that last game.  I would watch me beating you over and over again all day long on my big screen.
  136. Giant killer.